What Tetris Can Teach Us
Tetris was one of my favorite video games growing up. I think I liked it for its simplicity (and catchy tune). If you haven’t played it, here’s the basic premise of the game:
One of seven different shapes (called tetrominoes) falls from the top of the screen at a time. You can slide (horizontally) and/ or rotate each shape as it falls. The goal is to create complete rows using the falling shapes. Once a row is complete, it disappears, creating more space to keep playing. As the game progresses, the rate at which the shapes fall increases. The game is over if the shapes pile up to the top of the screen before you can clear them. And you can’t exactly win the game. It’s infinite.
So what can Tetris teach us about birth?
Releasing Control
The hard part of Tetris is that you don’t have control over which shape will fall next. It may be exactly the one you were hoping for, or it may be one that makes things more challenging. All you can do is work with each tetromino as it comes. You can shift it and rotate it, but you can’t change it.
During birth, just like in Tetris, we don’t have control over how the process unfolds. Maybe everything is falling into place. But, then, maybe a situation presents itself that doesn’t quite fit into what we had planned.
My second birth happened very quickly. It actually felt like it was happening too quickly. I would’ve preferred to slow things down a bit to have a chance to process what was happening. It was difficult for me to stay calm amidst the chaos. But the speed of this labor was not something I could control. I had to navigate the reality of how my birth was unfolding and manage the challenges I was facing in that moment.
Embracing the Unpredictability
Unpredictability is another aspect of Tetris. You can see the tetromino that’s currently falling, and you get a preview of the one coming next. But that’s it. If you could predict the exact order in advance, the game would be much easier. You would have better insight as to how to place each shape.
Birth is also unpredictable, and our birth stories are not written in advance. It’s important to understand that we have to make decisions in the moment, based on what we know now, without the benefit of have a crystal ball. We can anticipate possibilities, but we can’t predict specific outcomes.
We also may have plans and expectations going into birth, but the path we end up taking in the moment may diverge off in a completely different direction. Part of preparing for birth is embracing the fact that this is a possibility.
Based on my experience with my second birth, I prepared for my third to be similar. I had some strategies for staying calm and focused in the event of another fast and furious labor. At about 2 AM, I woke up to the sensation of fluid gushing out of my body. My membranes had ruptured and I braced for a sudden and intense start to labor as I stood up. But…. nothing happened. I called my midwife and made the decision to attempt to try and get some rest (not easy!). There were still no signs of labor the next morning, so I decided to try some strategies at home to get labor started. But still…. nothing. I ended up with a labor induction and gave birth the next day. This birth was definitely not what I was expecting!
Final Thoughts
Despite all of our plans and preparation, birth remains one of life’s most unpredictable journeys and one we can’t completely control. Because birth is such a transformative and momentous experience for many of us, it can be really difficult to release control and embrace unpredictability. I love Tetris as a metaphor for birth and what it can teach us about these two concepts.
Remember, we can’t completely control or predict what comes next. We can only work with what does.
(On a side note, Tetris has fascinating origins. I highly recommend this movie that recently came out if you want to hear the story.)
Even though we don’t have total control over labor and birth, we can still plan for how we want to navigate the process. I have a quiz that can help you gain some insight on how you might want to approach labor and birth. Click the button below to discover and explore your Birth Journey Archetype.